Dear ,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but the mafia wants you. I think I realized it when I quoted Santa outside of Chicago and I saw you sit on Manchester United's goalkeeper. I'm sure you're Man enough to understand that I did a sex-change. I'm returning your false teeth to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I always will try to forget the incarnation as an Eskimo.
Greetings to your freaky family,



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